Bleeding Edge Journalism

Had Your Cup of Happy Today?
Early morning: a solemn crowd gathers outside a construction site. As traffic outside the zone picks up, the group holds its signs up for the passers-by to see. They're not your usual protest signs. One has a picture of what looks like an alligator, crossed out. Another depicts several stick men being sucked into some kind of vortex. Several bear slogans like, "Return Someplace Else" and "No More Lloigor."...

Wal-Mart: More Evil Than Ever
Two new members of Wal-Mart's board of directors have promised to make the company, "more evil than ever." Chief Financial Officer Tsathoggua and Chief Marketing Officer Joseph Curwen were appointed to fill unexpected vacancies this week in an emergency meeting of Wal-Mart stockholders...

Tanith's Tips for Cultists with Cats
It seems that many of us who are drawn to the secrets of the Outer Darkness are also cat people. H.P. Lovecraft himself adored the creatures. That being the case, I thought there might be some of you out there who would find my experiences with mythos/feline interactions to be useful...

INS Has Hands Full With Tcho-Tcho
Record numbers of Tcho-Tcho pygmies, crossing the border illegally from the dread plateau of Leng, are keeping immigration officers busier than ever this year...

U.S. to Invade R'lyeh
In a press conference today with Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Colin Powell, and Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge, President Bush announced that the "war on terror" would continue with an invasion of curse-shrouded R'lyeh beneath the waves...

Episcopalians Approve Yithian Bishop
The House of Bishops voted Tuesday evening to confirm the Rev. Uet'hme Pnackt (formerly known as Alexander Peaslee) as bishop of Arkham, making him the first openly Yithian bishop in the Episcopal Church's history...